Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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