so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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