And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
