something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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