i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
