i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
