I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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