sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize