tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
