he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
