maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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