I seem to have left my pride at pride
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
