I don't think brook has ever known best
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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