Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
