i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His nipple licking is glorious
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