and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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