yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
