my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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