so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
