Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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