That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize