As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She told me I should be a condom model.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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