I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
