running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize