Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
