Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize