They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
