thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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