so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
