Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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