I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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