today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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