I need help removing her.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
