Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
