gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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