Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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