So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
