So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
