I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Small penises have feelings too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize