I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
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I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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