So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
