Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
soo... how was my night?
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