I CAN MOONWALK!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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