I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize