check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm passing your future prison.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
