I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
