I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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