Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
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My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
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When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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