Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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