People in love make me want to vomit
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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