Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
