well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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