hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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