i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
