Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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