we have pet lesbian snakes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
