I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
