I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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