i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
