Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
