He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
