Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
