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I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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