Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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