your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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