I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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