I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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